Schon seit Wochen verfolge ich das Blog Event von authorsbmazing, doch bisher hat die Zeit nie gereicht auch mitzumachen. Da ich aber gerade Urlaub habe und die Zeit auch etwas zum Erholen und für mich nutzen möchte, habe ich beschlossen, dies nun zu ändern und möchte daher zum ersten Mal bei Finish It mitmachen.
Ich möchte natürlich in der Geschichte der Sprache treu bleiben und werde daher in Englisch schreiben, bitte jegliche Fehler in meinem bescheidenen Englisch zu ignorieren. Und aufgrund meiner aktuellen etwas düsteren Stimmung ist auch die Geschichte selbst etwas düster geworden.
My first try to be part of Finish It. Sorry for any mistakes in my average english and because of my momentarily not so good personal condition the story got dark as well.
Here is the start of the story:
She was standing there, trembling. Her feet right on the edge, wondering how deep the drop might be. Her heart was racing. She was determined. She started controlling her breath, it was something they taught her. One of the few good things she got out of it.
And my continuation:
Stay calm in all situations you ever get. Never let others see your stress, your fear, best never let others know how you feel. Yes thats something she was good at. Well trained would say the others, the best of the class she was presented at the graduation of the special training she visited after the acadamy. She thought it would be a good thing to learn how to handle the bad guys, how to talk them out about whatever they want to do. She loved her job at the start and she was good at it. And she used her ability more and more outside of the job as well. She got what she wanted nearly all the time. But there was an evil side about all that. There are always two sides of every coin. And with all the manipulating of others she started to be someone else, locked in her own true feelings.
She saw a lot of bad things in her job and she thought she could lock all the bad things out like she locked in her own feelings. But there was this moment, the moment she failed the first time. The moment innocent people died because of her. Everyone wanted to help her, she made a therapy talked everything through again and again. Others telling her all the time that she has done everything right, that it wasnt her fault. Her head started to believing them but the damage in her heart was already done and irreparable. At the beginning she at least could cry and lay down some grief from her soul. But later the more bad things happend, the more failures she made in her own view, the more she lost the ability to cry.
Everyday and every minute the uncried tears put more pressure on her. Her head feels like it would explode and the pain in her chest was unbearable. She is not able to bear up against it any longer. Thats why she is standing here right now looking down into the wild water of the river. Relief thats all she want but still the tears will not come. So she closes her eyes and just let her fall and finally she could feel tears running down her cheeks and a relieved smile appears on her face.